Carol Howard Merritt: When work looks different across generations
Recently, I was talking to a couple of lawyers who were lamenting the intergenerational aspect of their work. Things have shifted so much in law offices that the older lawyers are frustrated with the younger lawyers because they did not think they were actually doing any work. The young lawyers were getting the assignments done, but the actual process looked different, and it irritated the older lawyers.
I listened, amazed. So much of what they were going through is also happening within our congregations. Work looks different. And sometimes it pesters the intergenerational tensions like a chigger just below the skin. There is something annoying and wrong, although we can’t figure out just what it is. Older generations of people cannot point to anything that their younger pastor is not doing. In fact, the church might even be growing, but there is a difference in the manner in which she is getting it done that vexes them.
What are the shifts that are occurring? What is causing the tensions?
First, our studying looks different. I have a sign on my office that says “Pastor’s Study,” and when I crack open that door, there is a big desk, a comfortable chair, and a ton of bookshelves. This whole office is a symbol of how ministers are to conduct their time: by spending hours behind that desk in the comfortable silence of their study. For many people in our congregation, if we are there, then we are working. If we are not there, then we are not working.
Yet things have shifted for many pastors now. We don’t really need all of those books physically present because we have a Kindle that holds most of our recent theological purchases and we can search Google books for our passages. The busy atmosphere of the coffeehouse just might be a better place for us to concentrate. In fact, I don’t know many pastors who can focus in their offices. Although it can cause tension, it is still a wonderful thing for the church. Relationships form in public spaces. People begin to know who the pastor is as he pounds out his weekly thoughts in the corner of the coffeehouse. It allows for people to connect with the pastor in a completely different context, and we begin to make friends that we would have never met in our office.
Second, communication looks different. Pastors used to communicate on the telephone and face-to-face. Home visitation was extremely important, because it was one of the only ways that pastors could have time with their parishioners. Now, as we shift in a new generation, home visits are often a source of anxiety for the pastor and for the people with whom we minister.
Young families don’t keep clean houses any longer. Moms and dads both have to work, and no one is home to dust the mantel just in case the pastor makes a call. Instead, we are communicating with email, texts, Twitter, and Facebook.
It is difficult when in our pastor’s reports we are asked how many home visits we made. People don’t understand the constant, round-the-clock communication that is now taking place. Current communication may seem frivolous and shallow to non-participants, but it is actually rather intense.
Third, our work looks different. There has been a shift from caretaking the congregation and waiting for people to walk into our doors, to an outward focus on attracting people into our communities. The change is hardly perceptible, but it’s almost like an evolutionary thing that is happening. We are changing our patterns instinctually.
Church is no longer an expected part of our society. So a new generation of pastors actively evangelize through blogging, setting up Facebook sites, creating Yelp profiles, and encouraging good reviews on Google Maps.
As we participate in social networking, put our sermons on iTunes, and stream our services on YouTube, it may seem like a ridiculous waste of time to many in our congregations. Yet we know that if our congregations do not change their habits quickly, if we do not move from caretaking our members to reaching to a new generation, then most of our churches are going to empty in twenty years.
The shifts in our pastoral roles are extremely exciting and important. Yet it means that our work looks different. We’ll need to communicate and support those shifts as well as we can, so that we might become a church with a faith that is vital from generation to generation.
Carol Howard Merritt is pastor of Western Presbyterian Church in Washington DC and author of "Tribal Church" (Alban). She blogs at tribalchurch.org.
Visiting
Carol my wife, who's a UM pastor here in Durham, was wondering about how one does pastoral visitation today, and you name precisely the problem. Is there a way to get to parishioners who don't want, let alone don't expect, visitors in their home? Perhaps working lunches or visits to coffee shops? I hear you raising here the building of new relationships with folks outside the church, but I'm wondering about people in a similar SES setting who aren't baristas or coffee bar flies
It occurs to me that much of
It occurs to me that much of this has to do with setting. What Carol describes here (thanks, Carol!) was especially true in my last two calls, but not as much in my present one. The difference is that in my particular urban setting, our church is on a busy street with tons of foot-traffic. This means that people drop in much more, and I've needed to change my schedule and study habits to accommodate this drop-in traffic. To have someone drop in and say, "I need to talk to a pastor" and to send them across the street to Starbucks, where the pastor's working on her sermon, would be strange here, but less strange, I suppose, if that meeting had been set up in advance?
An old guy who kinda gets it
Right, Carol, and even though I'm of the generation that commonly misunderstands yours, I've been seeing and doing things your way a lot of the time. That, in a way, is worse for appearances, since I don't have the generational rationale for working this way, but on the other hand, some people are glad to see the adaptability.
The reason I've changed is common sense. The past ways aren't working and haven't been for a long time. People are starting to get that. The hard part is that changing to more adaptive and transformative ways hasn't produced immediate results. There is so much -- and so many difficult things -- to do. Still, doing something that works now and then creates progress.
I'll hang in with you and hope people will hang in with me.
Oh, and . . .
. . . I must admit I do have gazillions of books in what I still quaintly refer to as my study.
You hit the nail on the head!
This is a very insightful post. I've been experiencing this very tension as pastor of a church in transition. Older members often expect to "drop by" the office to speak with me, and they don't find me there. The office is a terrible place for me to think. I also find that Facebook (and increasingly Twitter) is where I connect with parishioners under 50 - and sometimes older!
Thanks for sharing your thought and helping me understand the tension.
Blessings,
Steve Whitney
Trinity Presbyterian Church of West Sacramento, CA
www.TrinityWestSac.org
No doubt
As a young pastor, I completely agree with your insights. In my case, one of the big changes is having to work from home during my son's nap time. This means that I can't be in the office from 12:00pm - 4:00pm, a huge change from previous generations. IMHO, The reality of working parents (often both working) combined with the cost of childcare is another contributing factor to changes in work habits.
Thanks for this post. It was right on!
Peace,
Bill
Davis Community Church, Davis, CA
www.dccpres.org
"Compromise"
I'm one of the tail-draggers of the Boomer generation but resonate with the thoughts expressed. I'm rarely in my office. But, I have learned that dressing "professionally" makes people feel better about me being out of the office. When they see me having lunch or coffee with a colleague or parishioner (or walking out the door of the church), they "know" I'm working.
Jason, it's a good question.
Jason, it's a good question. How do we visit now? Internet interactions are great, but they certainly don't give a pastor the insight that we would get from a visit in the home.
Unfortunately though... we just might have to find other ways. I find that going out to lunch is a good substitute where we're at. And if I can meet people at their work then there's an added bonus.
What have other people found? What works in your contexts?
Christy, you SO get it! And, I've got books in my study to. I still love the feel and the smell. Although I'm trying to switch over, with all the traveling that I'm doing, it's easier on my back.
Many Thanks
Thank you so much for this post.This helps me to name a tension that I have been living with in my work. Because my interactions with congregants include email, text, and phone conversations I have been accused of "not doing pastoral care," because these are not considered "real" ways of interacting by the older generation. I am grateful to get another way to think about this. I have many shelves of books at home and at the church, but usually write sermons at home, where most of them are. Not quite ready to go wireless yet.
Kamal, You're not alone. As
Kamal, You're not alone. As I'm listening to friends, so many of them are getting the same sort of feedback from their parishioners who don't study, communicate, and interact in the same way. And yet, I noticed that often the church was more vibrant than before they arrived, but members were often unsatisfied.
right on
This is an excellent post!
We now have a generational gap wider than the grand canyon in our churches. If younger pastors neglect the older folks, there's a problem. If older pastors neglect the younger folks, churches fail to grow and there's a problem...
So, what to do?
This is where the concept of a ministry team is helpful. One person can't and shouldn't be expected to do it all, and so a team of elders, or deacons, or ministers, etc should be assembled to make sure that the various 'groups' are taken care of.
Kids today like to twitter/facebook etc with their phones or pc's, whereas 30-40's like email and folks in the uppper age ranges seem to still like the in person/onsite touch.
While there is a great deal of crossover in methods my main concern is that we're forcing people who are not skilled in newer methods, to try and 'keep up.' On top of that folks who are skilled in traditional methods don't "get" the newer methods (mobile comms/social networking). Email might be a stretch for them. So, what we need are people who are already skilled in an area to work with their community/generation/peer-group (you get the idea). Thoughts? So, I'll say this now -- God will make it right. Listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Speak your mind and let God touch the hearts of those you speak to, and let Him work it out.
Once again, nice post, I intend to share on my FB page and send to my friends who are pastors/ministers.
In Him,
-Sean (Tech Coordinator, Cornerstone PCUSA of Jackson, NJ)
other communication
I have actually found that sending people cards for just about any reason has been really effective: thanks, good to see you, where have you been, i really enjoyed seeing mr. snoopy (the signed-in stuffed animal) in church on Sunday - where did he get his bunny suit as i want one, i was just thinking about you and wanted to say hello, etc. Also, I had one parishioner say that she had never received a check-in phone call from a pastor before. The visits seem to be for the shut-ins and dying, but otherwise they seem ok with other ways of visitation.
Oh, and I live in a coffee-shop-free little town. Hate that!
And, as for studying, I even write my sermons out long-hand. Otherwise I just check my e-mail and facebook all the time.
question
Do those of you who hang out in coffee shops--working, writing, whatever--really make friends with other people who also hang out there? How does that work?
You can't make friends with
You can't make friends with everybody. If you're a guy, women will think that you're hitting on them if you're too chatty! ;-)
Independent coffeehouses can be great for building community though. My husband is really good at it. He just talks to the employees a lot. He gets to know the people who hang out there. It takes time, but it's often one center of a town's social network.
Changes
I'm acutely aware of the problem of cross-gender "chattiness," and the danger of sending wrong signals. I'm personally thankful not only that I'm married (not that this completely avoids that problem, of course!), but also that it's so easy to brag about the stuff my wife's doing (I'm confident she'd see herself in a lot of this post, Carol, especially the bit about coffee houses!) so I can at least be as intentional about signaling the exclusivity of my relationship with her as intentionally as possible.
Stepping back a bit, I was very encouraged to read this article, not so much because of the direct pastoral implications, but what it says about work in general. I've been at my current job for nearly a decade, and while I think my co-workers have always been good about praising my contributions in appropriate ways, I find myself constantly feeling guilty that my workload doesn't resemble what I'd been taught to respect by earlier generations. The reassurance provided here was more than welcome.
Post Sermons on YouTube
I have to admit that there are times when my wife and I don't attend church on Sunday morning but the awesome about pastors who use social media and put sermons on YouTube is awesome
Face time AND Facebook time
Growing a church is about the relationships being developed. You need face time for that -- not just Facebook time. Just as the hand-written note, however old-school, is far superior to the email message -- the personal interaction is simply superior, for the most part, as compared to a text or Facebook post.
Technology will not be able to perform the sustainable faith engagement (challenging the norm, uplifting the hopeless, etc.) a person needs.
Being a pastor, for better or for worse, requires way more than 40-50 hours per week. It's a 60 plus hour life choice. Why does this matter? Ministry costs money. Money goes where the heart is. If the Church wants hearts, we need open doors, leadership presence, and passionate service performed hand in hand with the whole Church. A Church's money and members is what feeds, and clothes, and digs wells, and advocates for health care, and ends drug wars, and ends gang wars, and provides childcare, etc.
Most pastors have it far better than almost everyone else in society. Sure, there are a number of pastors who got the lousy end of the stick. But for the most part -- pastors aren't the marginalized, disenfranchised, underprivileged people in this culture.
It's hard, but keep it up, all. Open your doors!
I appreciated this article so
I appreciated this article so much. I am a pastor in my thirties with a mostly older congregation, and gave them a heads-up about my working style when they hired me, but still think it throws some of them for a loop. I write my sermons mostly at Starbucks or at home at night, and the place I do most "pastoral visits" is the local coffee shop on the corner. I also have two small children and my schedule is constantly shifting around for one reason or another, multi-tasking is key.
I think there might be a gap not only in style of working but in understanding of pastor's role, and the church's place in its community and in people's lives... along those lines I respectfully disagree with the last comment. I think it is VITAL that a pastor keep it to about 40 hours a week (some weeks are more, some less). The church is the Church - the pastor is merely a shepherd, a facilitator - the people are the ministers. And how can we tell others about health, or balance, or being responsible with their families if WE sacrifice those things - no matter how "holy" the calling? The calling is to be human, with and alongside our parishioners, and together to seek for God in our own brokenness and the world's, and to preach the hope of the grace of God that comes despite - and thank God, sometimes even through - us.
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