The first of two posts on the recent “Glee” episode “Grilled Cheesus.” Beth Felker Jones responded with criticism of the show.
“If you want to know how young adults feel about God, watch how our favorite TV shows and talk about them.” With an invitation like that from a young adult friend, I had to stay up past my bedtime to watch the “Glee” episode called “ Grilled Cheesus.”
After watching I turned off my computer and fell asleep without giving it much thought. The next day I was surprised to find that Facebook commentary about “Glee” had gone wild. And it wasn’t just on “Glee’s” own page, but on my own news feed and all over others’ as well.
There was a distinct disparity in the comments. Lay people (mostly young, though not exclusively) loved the episode. Pastors did not. Lay people wrote things like: ‘Loved it.’ ‘Glad TV shows are willing to talk about religion.’ ‘Covered the issues everybody’s talking about.’ Pastors wrote things like: ‘Terrible episode.’ ‘The theology wasn’t very good.’ ‘Watered-down Christianity unrelated to the real Jesus.’
I, too, appreciate theological substance. I agree with the pastors that this episode wasn’t full of it. I don’t think that was the episode’s point. But this is mine: we pastors are missing opportunities to interact with people who are having conversations about God, Jesus, the church, and spirituality, because we find them ‘theologically incorrect.’
I had a choice to make when that young friend emailed me. I could have written her back and told her how theologically poor I found the episode. Or I could have thanked her for thinking to mention the episode to me and asked for her thoughts on it.
Before I started working with young adults, I may have chosen the former option. Sometimes we young pastors can be the most doctrine-bound, crotchety church people on the planet. But since working with young adults I have come to choose the latter option. And I am better off for it. This young adult wrote me back and told me not just about her thoughts, but also about her housemates’ conversations about faith, their generation’s uncertainty, and many other questions they have. Our conversation continues.
I meet a lot of Christians who want to know how they can connect with young people. Yet when I suggest they learn not just what makes young adults tick, but really engage them without trying to convict or convert them, these same people often refuse. They insist on responding with their own contradictions and their own theology, which might as well be some dead, unknown language to the young adults they meet. One of the reasons these people are not in church is because it doesn’t make sense to them. Engaging with theologically-lined language filled with critique probably isn’t going to connect with them.
Listening is the key. Listening long enough to appreciate why they have formed their perspectives. Listening until the person is finished speaking. Listening enough to find a way to reply in theological terms which both make sense to the listener and are relevant to their perspective. Listening, listening, listening -- with a heart and mind open enough that what the other is saying might even influence our own perspective.
We already excel at this in a variety of venues. Anyone who visits shut-ins or the sick listens extensively on those visits. We listen to sermons, choirs, and people who pontificate at meetings, even if we don’t like their perspectives. We are, in fact, quite good at this. Except when we’re listening to young people. With them we’d rather talk.
But I would submit that the young adult population is one which is longing to be listened to. Surprisingly enough, they are interested in what Jesus said and what the church has to say about our world. Many of them are looking for wisdom and meaning. A lot of them are wondering whether the church can be relevant in their lives. I think it can be.
Until we listen, we won’t be able to speak a Word to them.
